Fear - genuine fear - is what hits me when I consider tonight. Oh, sure, it should be a casual evening, but everyone else there pretty much knows each other, so I’ll stick out as the loner with the queer drink in the corner.
So, not much different to usual, then.
No, what I’m really worried about is talking to Luke. He’s completely blown me away, which can never be a good thing. I just hope I don’t completely break down before I get the chance to start a conversation.
Need to get seriously drunk. It’s the only way I’ll get through, really.
Good luck, me! xx
I’ve rediscovered 3rd Rock From The Sun - John Lithgow and French Stewart have had me laughing all night, and it feels great.
This weekend went well (ish). Friday was a complete disaster, as I didn’t even get to read, and Scott was a total dick - maybe I’m taking things too personally. Hopefully, this coming week will allow me to remedy both issues.
Saturday, however, was great. Jodie got into a scuffle that was almost exciting, I got quite drunk and found out too much Sambuca means death, apparently, and slept in the Learning Zone. What an achievement!
Today was really good, though. At first, Cassie’s boyfriend Michael was a bit stiff (wahey), but eventually we worked through it and managed to settle into a halfway house friendship. Chalk up another one for the team!
If I’m honest, I’m terrified about Tuesday. Open Drama Night with a load of people I barely know, but need to get to know. Chances are Luke will put in an appearance, an idea that both intrigues and horrifies me. He may even be wearing the morally ambiguous leather jacket - NOT that I’m attracted to that sort of thing.
Perhaps developments are on the horizon?
They’re definitely not in the rear view mirror. xx
Well, I knew it was
a waste only a matter of time.
Now I have the poem that I’ll be reading tonight, I think I might celebrate by practicing the old Monolocale 7.30A.M. Such a beautiful piece; I can’t believe I’m going to murder it in concert.
Oh well. xx
That’s right, no seminar for me today - I’m pulling a proverbial Ferris Bueller, all for the sake of the perfect piece for tonight!
And I still have no idea what to write.
So, I was thinking I could write a powerfully driven personal monologue, but putting emotion like that into a piece really isn’t my style, and there are enough emotional people at Writers’ anyway. It can actually get kind of depressing.
But not tonight!
I will persevere, and I hope it’s worth it. If I garner enough support, I may even self-publish on tumblr. How good of me! xx
OK, so the whole poetry thing - that didn’t work out so well. Maybe I should just accept that I can’t write
anything on demand; take the easy way out.
Well, I’ve made that decision. I should have another cup of coffee to celebrate. That may be the problem, though. I’m too hyped up, too excited, too overly keen and just not in the pensive frame of mind.
But at least I’ve started learning some Giovanni Allevi. Whoop whoop! Finally, I’m back on the piano scene, and my fingers are aching balls, but I refuse to stop typing. Nothing will keep me down!
Except coffee, apparently.
How ironic. -_-
Yeah, OK, so I’m doing the whole tumblr thing, but I’m really not feeling the whole ‘load my wall with generic gay pictures’ - there are plenty of blogs for that. Just check my ‘Following’ or something.
No, this is me generally talking at my computer about things in my life. If you’re interested, great. If not, great.
See, it doesn’t have to have a point.
So, where am I at now? I’m basically trapped between two men - Scott and Luke - and I don’t know which way to go. Scott’s ginger, but he’s also Irish, whereas Luke does drama but has an annoying voice.
I also need to write an amazing poem for tomorrow, really secure my place as a writer worth reading/listening to, but that may be hard, as I need more coffee.
Solution: make more coffee. Simples.
As ever with work to do, I’ll probably be back on in ten, with Second Post! Hopefully, it’ll be less
annoying intense than this one.
I can hope. xx